Thursday, July 15, 2010

Running On Empty

Laura watched the school bus leave and cleared away the breakfast dishes, scraping away the vestiges of a perfectly prepared Spanish omelette her husband had eaten without even looking at her once. The New York Times beckoned. The Knicks were on a winning streak. The Governer had announced an early retirement. Important events were unfolding. Laura's husband left with a hurried farewell, cursing loudly as the key hit the ignition. "How am I supposed to drop off those cans at the food pantry if I have to stop at the gas station first? Laura, do you EVER fill up the car? Now I'll be late for work" Laura went upstairs to attack the bedrooms, angry words still swimming around in her head. She almost slipped on a pair of filthy men's Argyll socks lying on the top stair. She pondered on how some men are so passionate about civil rights for all- for the downtrodden, the under-represented or marginalized members of society. She found their spirit of volunteerism and charitable giving commendable. Yet these same men may never have prepared as much as a bowl of pasta for themselves or their families OR completed an entire load of laundry unaided. She sprawled across her unmade bed, grabbed her journal and began to write: Feminism, equality and social justice begin at home.

5 comments:

Nabeela said...

Umm. This will hit a few nerves.
If I know him as I think I do, expect a Tariq comment soon.

Humaira Basith Arroyo said...

volunteering, like housework, is for women.

Anonymous said...

This may be helpful:

http://www.soundvision.com/info/marriage/conflict/muslimdivorcesurvey2010.asp
Excerpts from:

Divorce in the Muslim Community: 2010 Survey Analysis
By Taha Ghayyur

"If you attended six Muslim weddings this summer, chances are that two will end up in divorce sooner or later. This is based on research conducted in the early 1990s by the late, New York-based sociologist Ilyas Ba-Yunus, who estimated the North American Muslim divorce rate stood at 31.14 percent, which was three times higher than the highest divorce rate in the Muslim world at that time (10 percent in Egypt and Turkey).

The situation hasn’t gotten better in North America over the last two decades. In fact, Imams, counselors, and lawyers are constantly indicating an increase in Muslim clients seeking help for marital crises and filing for divorce.

To understand this disturbing phenomenon, Sound Vision conducted an online survey from October 15, 2009 to January 15, 2010, in which 405 individuals across North America shared their divorce experience, including the factors that lead to divorce, as well as how they dealt with it....."

"...Incompatibility was the most cited reason for divorce (16.38%), followed by abuse (13.12%), financial disputes (10.41%), family / in-laws interference (10.20%), sexual infidelity / adultery (8.79%), and others.

If we add the results of “religious incompatibility: lack of practice” and “religious incompatibility: extreme practice” to the general “incompatibility” factor, it comes out to 25.71%..."
"...Those who indicated abuse as one of the reasons for divorce chose emotional abuse as the most common form of abuse they experienced. About one-third (32.32%) of individuals chose emotional abuse, while one-fifth (21.80%) selected verbal abuse, followed by financial abuse (14.79%), physical abuse (13.87%), spiritual abuse (8.99%) and sexual abuse (5.79%).
Surprisingly, a slightly higher percentage of men indicated emotional abuse (37.70%) to be the main form of abuse they suffered, as opposed to 31.26% women. This is similar to the findings for verbal abuse: 24.59% men cited it as one of the forms of abuse they experienced in their relationship, while 21.49% women chose the same...."

Tariq

Salaeha said...

I'm wondering why Laura and the other women in these stories aren't vocalizing their concerns to their spouses? It seems they are bottling things up and allowing them to fester. Aren't we all in charge/responsible for our own happiness? Perhaps spouse de Laura is oblivous to his contributing towards lack of social justice at home...

Blog Bully said...

I'm waiting for your post
24 dollars and a toast:
You've got ideas
they're really great
why do you always
make us wait?
I'm waiting for your post.
(sung to the tune of "I'm Waiting for my Man", Lou Reed)