I had recently moved from my beloved Bay Area to the MidWest and was on the way to the Friday prayer. After enduring sub zero temperatures and two snowstorms, I was hard pressed to find anything positive about this newly adopted town. But the weather was nothing compared to the frosty reception I had recieved at some of the masajid.
One mosque I had been to actually had NO women's section and a sign in Urdu. I had actually stayed in the car while my husband and sons prayed inside.After that edifying experience, I had considerably lowered my expectations.
So I had no high hopes this particular day.
We had never been to this masjid. I had driven past it, admiring its beautifully-maintained exterior. My husband went to park the car, urging me to be optimistic, while my mother and I searched for the entrance. I saw a beautiful set of glass doors with green calligraphy on them and saw a very fair, clean-shaven gentleman standing nearby, smoking. Decades of living in the Muslim commuinty told me one thing:
' The Men's Section '
I did not want my mother to have to follow me all around the building while I looked for the ladies' entrance so I boldly enquired where it was. I expected the usual response. Agitation, absence of eye contact -and vehement re-direction to some tiny dark alleyway. At the end of this there would probably be a sign saying something like 'Ladys Enturr Hear' .
Instead, the man pointed to the fancy doors in front of us through a ring of smoke.
I thought he had mis-understood me. So I asked him again, re-phrasing the question and talking more loudly and clearly.
He threw the cigarette on the ground, extinguished it with his foot and uttered these immortal words in a strong Eastern European accent and a piercing look:
"There is only one door, Sister."
Indeed, we entered the immaculate yet modest masjid through the only entrance. The khutbah was just about to start. There were about seven rows of men and some boys in between and then a couple of rows of women. They were mostly dressed in colorful skirts and blouses and were all listening intently. Some actually smiled at me. The sermon was in English and lasted fifteen minutes. It was a thoughtful, well-delivered message about the value of education.
At some point, I thought I had died and gone to Jumuah Heaven.
The above scenario is not exactly the norm. (By the way, I'm not talking about male congregants standing outside a place of worship, un-concerned about lung cancer. That part is common enough.)
What I mean is, we could start a therapy group consisting of "Negative Masjid Experiences".
Here is the litany of disasters. Monitors that don't work. Faulty speakers. Fans that don't turn on- try 90 degree summer Jumuahs with the kids home for the vacation. When you listen to a speech it is important to be able to see the speaker. And I'm not talking about a pair of sub-woofers. It helps you to focus. When you are focused, you are more engaged. You are thus more likely to put what you hear into practice. Listening is an inter-active process. An animated vibrant khateeb will express emotion through body language, pauses and eye contact.
This is not supposed to be NPR programming.
With the current Ground Zero Mosque situation, the entire issue of mosques in America is at the forefront. Masjids are going under the microscope. Isn't it time to get our own house in order and recognize that Muslims are being accorded freedoms and rights by this country- but are not giving those same rights to their own women?
If you cannot see the women in a congregation, then you will not care about their needs, will forget their existence. Add young children into the melee and you may as well stay home and watch Nick Jr every Friday afternoon. What is the use of having fancy Dawah programs about how women are not oppressed in Islam, when they are often treated like second class citizens in their own mosque.
Do we really need one more article about how there were no curtains, walls or dividers between the men and women worshippers at the time of the Prophet, Peace Be Upon Him. What about those countless stories of how women were fully involved in the day to day activities of the masjid at the time of the Prophet, Peace Be Upon Him. Are those just cozy fire-side tales?
Yet almost every mosque in the Western hemisphere has a divider of some sort. Or else the women's section is in the basement, hidden far away on a balcony or in a glorified closet. This does not seem to be the best message to be sending out- particularly to our youth and new Muslims. The men-folk pray under a chandelier on a sumptuous carpet while the women rough it in a closet?
But welcome to our tolerant religion!
What is interesting is how this is justified. People often say:
"Well you have to have a divider these days because worshippers are not following the proper dress code or etiquette"
So a divider is not bidaa'- an innovation?
Also, the same people will tell you that Islam is a timeless religion, not needing any interpretation for the modern era.
Make up your mind. Either it's timeless or it isn't.
Amongst those early Muslims, were there really none who lacked adhab? Did every single woman cover up completely in those days? And today, is everyone lacking in that same adhab and the proper dress code? Please just explain the logic to me, that's all I ask. Does human nature change that much over time? If that were the case, then Dickens, Dostoevsky, La Montaigne- and all other commentators on the human condition would make no sense to us today.
I offer the following theory: Cads and bounders have existed since time immemorial- as have people of the highest moral character. This continues to be the case today. We have people at both ends of the behavior spectrum. The "We need a barrier because people can't control themselves these days" argument does not seem water-tight.
What is the role of "Say to the Believing men that they should lower their gaze? ." Are men supposed to have no responsibility whatsoever in this process?
Sorry but those who look will always look no matter where you hide those women.
The other women in these mosques themselves can often be part of the problem.
They like playing the game "Partition, Veil, Six Foot Wall- Who's the Devoutest of them All?" They think that by insisting on there being a divider, they will be considered more pious, gaining brownie points with their men-folk. Are they looking at the broader picture? When will these women stop needing male approval and perpetuating this patriarchal system?
We have conferences about how the youth are being alienated yet fail to address the most fundamental of issues. Girls and women are often the ones running around micro-managing the smooth running of the Masjid, teaching at the Sunday schools, organizing the events and so on. Alienate them and you have lost most of your work-force.
Many years ago, I quizzed a dear devout friend of mine about this and she responded that she had given up going to the masjid because it did not increase her spirituality. I found myself agreeing with this approach and followed suit for the longest time. I believe this is how most of us survive in this often misogynistic community. But is staying away the response?
I'm not sure I know.
But I do know that you only need one door to enter Heaven.
I also know this. Our masjid boards are taking back the very freedoms that Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and so many other brave souls fought for us to have. And somehow, we are letting them get away with it.
So I had no high hopes this particular day.
We had never been to this masjid. I had driven past it, admiring its beautifully-maintained exterior. My husband went to park the car, urging me to be optimistic, while my mother and I searched for the entrance. I saw a beautiful set of glass doors with green calligraphy on them and saw a very fair, clean-shaven gentleman standing nearby, smoking. Decades of living in the Muslim commuinty told me one thing:
' The Men's Section '
I did not want my mother to have to follow me all around the building while I looked for the ladies' entrance so I boldly enquired where it was. I expected the usual response. Agitation, absence of eye contact -and vehement re-direction to some tiny dark alleyway. At the end of this there would probably be a sign saying something like 'Ladys Enturr Hear' .
Instead, the man pointed to the fancy doors in front of us through a ring of smoke.
I thought he had mis-understood me. So I asked him again, re-phrasing the question and talking more loudly and clearly.
He threw the cigarette on the ground, extinguished it with his foot and uttered these immortal words in a strong Eastern European accent and a piercing look:
"There is only one door, Sister."
Indeed, we entered the immaculate yet modest masjid through the only entrance. The khutbah was just about to start. There were about seven rows of men and some boys in between and then a couple of rows of women. They were mostly dressed in colorful skirts and blouses and were all listening intently. Some actually smiled at me. The sermon was in English and lasted fifteen minutes. It was a thoughtful, well-delivered message about the value of education.
At some point, I thought I had died and gone to Jumuah Heaven.
The above scenario is not exactly the norm. (By the way, I'm not talking about male congregants standing outside a place of worship, un-concerned about lung cancer. That part is common enough.)
What I mean is, we could start a therapy group consisting of "Negative Masjid Experiences".
Here is the litany of disasters. Monitors that don't work. Faulty speakers. Fans that don't turn on- try 90 degree summer Jumuahs with the kids home for the vacation. When you listen to a speech it is important to be able to see the speaker. And I'm not talking about a pair of sub-woofers. It helps you to focus. When you are focused, you are more engaged. You are thus more likely to put what you hear into practice. Listening is an inter-active process. An animated vibrant khateeb will express emotion through body language, pauses and eye contact.
This is not supposed to be NPR programming.
With the current Ground Zero Mosque situation, the entire issue of mosques in America is at the forefront. Masjids are going under the microscope. Isn't it time to get our own house in order and recognize that Muslims are being accorded freedoms and rights by this country- but are not giving those same rights to their own women?
If you cannot see the women in a congregation, then you will not care about their needs, will forget their existence. Add young children into the melee and you may as well stay home and watch Nick Jr every Friday afternoon. What is the use of having fancy Dawah programs about how women are not oppressed in Islam, when they are often treated like second class citizens in their own mosque.
Do we really need one more article about how there were no curtains, walls or dividers between the men and women worshippers at the time of the Prophet, Peace Be Upon Him. What about those countless stories of how women were fully involved in the day to day activities of the masjid at the time of the Prophet, Peace Be Upon Him. Are those just cozy fire-side tales?
Yet almost every mosque in the Western hemisphere has a divider of some sort. Or else the women's section is in the basement, hidden far away on a balcony or in a glorified closet. This does not seem to be the best message to be sending out- particularly to our youth and new Muslims. The men-folk pray under a chandelier on a sumptuous carpet while the women rough it in a closet?
But welcome to our tolerant religion!
What is interesting is how this is justified. People often say:
"Well you have to have a divider these days because worshippers are not following the proper dress code or etiquette"
So a divider is not bidaa'- an innovation?
Also, the same people will tell you that Islam is a timeless religion, not needing any interpretation for the modern era.
Make up your mind. Either it's timeless or it isn't.
Amongst those early Muslims, were there really none who lacked adhab? Did every single woman cover up completely in those days? And today, is everyone lacking in that same adhab and the proper dress code? Please just explain the logic to me, that's all I ask. Does human nature change that much over time? If that were the case, then Dickens, Dostoevsky, La Montaigne- and all other commentators on the human condition would make no sense to us today.
I offer the following theory: Cads and bounders have existed since time immemorial- as have people of the highest moral character. This continues to be the case today. We have people at both ends of the behavior spectrum. The "We need a barrier because people can't control themselves these days" argument does not seem water-tight.
What is the role of "Say to the Believing men that they should lower their gaze? ." Are men supposed to have no responsibility whatsoever in this process?
Sorry but those who look will always look no matter where you hide those women.
The other women in these mosques themselves can often be part of the problem.
They like playing the game "Partition, Veil, Six Foot Wall- Who's the Devoutest of them All?" They think that by insisting on there being a divider, they will be considered more pious, gaining brownie points with their men-folk. Are they looking at the broader picture? When will these women stop needing male approval and perpetuating this patriarchal system?
We have conferences about how the youth are being alienated yet fail to address the most fundamental of issues. Girls and women are often the ones running around micro-managing the smooth running of the Masjid, teaching at the Sunday schools, organizing the events and so on. Alienate them and you have lost most of your work-force.
Many years ago, I quizzed a dear devout friend of mine about this and she responded that she had given up going to the masjid because it did not increase her spirituality. I found myself agreeing with this approach and followed suit for the longest time. I believe this is how most of us survive in this often misogynistic community. But is staying away the response?
I'm not sure I know.
But I do know that you only need one door to enter Heaven.
I also know this. Our masjid boards are taking back the very freedoms that Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and so many other brave souls fought for us to have. And somehow, we are letting them get away with it.
5 comments:
Great post. I love it. I often feel that women are simply made to feel unwelcome in masjids, and that seems like a very backward approach to Islam. It definitely is a case of "out of sight, out of mind" when women are forced behind partitions.
Where and what time does the "Negative Masjid" therapy group meet? Is there a time limit on how much each participant is allowed to speak?
Very nice post. Are you going to be the next Karl Marx of the Women's Space in the Masjid revolution?
Well said! Straight from every woman's heart! (and hopefully many men's)
I just love this line:
"the speaker. And I'm not talking about a pair of sub-woofers"- perfection!!! I had to re-read it, its brilliant!!! O, how we can relate!!!
I recall taking my seven-year-old to Jumuah, just so he would learn the habit of attending Friday prayers. It was the days of Abu Hamza, and my son would ask, "Mummy, why does the man without arms scream so much?" Needless to say, it was not an inviting or inclusive atmosphere. Far from it!
Dear Aunty G,
I think you may have misunderstood the purpose of the barrier. The link you found is indeed excellent.
Dr. Siddiqui says it perfectly when he states “….It is, however, very important that Muslim women come to public gatherings wearing proper Islamic dress, for it is Haram (forbidden) for a Muslim woman to attend a public gathering without a full Islamic dress. She must cover her hair and neck with a scarf, which should also go over her bosom. Her dress should be modest and loose enough in order not to reveal the shape of her body….”
He suggests that one reason why partitions were created is “because some women began coming to Mosques without observing proper Islamic dress”.
I think it is our fault that there are partitions, because not all women obey these strict rules. The proper dress code is that worn by Syrian women (the good Syrian women, not the bad ones). The masjid does not need the loose dupattas and colorful shalwar kameez worn by Indo-Pak women. If the imam sees these immodest women, he could be distracted and mistakes during the khutbah. The immodest women would be responsible for the disaster and may even accumulate sins during the Friday prayer!!! I think it is much better, if we women stay in the basement and do not cause such trouble. We can only have a partition-free masjid, once women know their place, know how to dress, know when to talk and know when to be silent so they can learn from the men.
Shabana
Great blog Aunty G. loved it! concise and to the point. i would love to delve deeper into this issue on a social and psychological perspective. I'm ready for those therapy sessions! Best line "Partition, Veil, Six Foot Wall- Who's the Devoutest of them All?" sounds like a nursery rhyme our kids are fed!
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