In a Whirl

My refrigerator has stopped refrigerating.
I keep sniffing and tossing milk
Eating dry cereal or black, uncreamed tea.
Wasting curries and disposing of pasta.

I called Repair Guy One. He took a look at my fridge
and said there was nothing wrong with it.
But I needed to clean underneath every week.
Helps the coils in the compressor compress.
He told me to defrost and wait and all would be well.

I spent the next few months painfully scrubbing beneath the pesky machine.
Tired and dusty, I called my friends .
Both they and Google informed me that
under-appliance cleaning was a bi-annual affair,
that my weekly binges put me in the OCD camp.

Enter Repair Guy Two. He took a look at my fridge
and said there was nothing wrong with it.
He told me to deconstruct the ice with a hairdryer and all would be well.
That I needed to keep the top shelf empty
to encourage the flow of cold air.

Common sense told me
I should be able to use all parts of my refrigerator.
And hairdryers had no place in the kitchen.

A third guy came. He didn't even look at my fridge.
He regarded my stove and said, "It seems like you people cook a lot.
That's why your fridge isn't working".

I had nothing to say to that.
That would mean all Indian owners of refrigerators
should expect curdled dairy products.
I told my spouse it was time to put Fido down.
My Indian husband replied, " I'm not replacing something that has no defect."
And I threw another coagulated gallon in the sink. He was right. How could I fix what wasn't broke?

Whirlpool sent somebody out.  They said it was a perfect fridge. Had received glowing reviews.
But were full of manufacturer's reprimands.
We were not putting the crisper drawer in the right place.
That's why it wasn't working.
I shelved that discussion.

My uncle knows a guy who knows a guy who's neighbors with a man who runs a heating and cooling repair biz.
He came out and inspected every tiny mortal coil and said that there was something wrong with the fridge but he didn't know what it was.
That's all I wanted to know. That he didn't know.
Peace flowed like coolant into my heart.

I just want to know.
That you don't know.

Don't keep saying I'm not sweeping in the right places,
or my shelving is wrong.

There's a defect in the system.
And no one will talk about it.